Thursday, March 12, 2009

The End Is Calling

Before rewrite:

The stars are falling
From the sky
Each twinkle cast down
Each tear from her eye

One after another
They slide down her face
Leaving her with a puddle of tears
And her fallen grace

Tonight the stars are falling
Tonight, the end is calling
Each twinkle cast down from the sky
Each tear sliding down from her eyes
Soon it will be bare
But she'll never care
Because life's not fair

There goes another one
Gone without a fight
The tiny star had no choice
It left, dimmed out of sight


The night twisting the fate for
A goddess out of control.
Rendering her
No longer whole.

Tonight the stars are falling
Tonight, the end is calling
But she doesn't care
Because life's not fair


After Rewrite:

Tonight the stars are falling
Tonight the end is calling
Each twinkle cast down from the sky
Each tear shed from her eye

One after another they slide down her face
Leaving her with a puddle of tears and her fallen grace
If these stars continue to descend her soul will be bare
However, she can't seem to find the energy to care.

There goes another one, gone without a fight
This last tiny star had no choice. It left, dimmed out of sight.
The now starless night screams in rage at the goddess out of control
It does not care that her soul was left exposed, rendering her no longer whole.

Tomorrow there will be no stars left to fall
They are all lying at her feet, too shattered to shine at all.

1 comment:

  1. I like how you personify the stars in "There goes another one, gone without a fight."

    The socond one is definitely better!

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